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i hate apple and so can you - willterrytragic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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i hate apple and so can you [Apr. 1st, 2011|12:08 pm]

There is nothing more frustrating than the person who exclaims about their apple products to such a degree that it borders on brave new world indoctrination. You know these types, you may even be one. The tired old stereotypes of the apple loving bearded dirty hipster in the coffee shop writing a novel, these are old stereotypes, and I could do without them. What is worse, is the former windows using type who has recently converted to apple products and has nothing better to do than explain to you endlessly why their apple line of products far surpasses that of their previous windows machines, music players, etc…of course my dad is the number one offender in this case. His favorite phrase is “If I were doing this with my apple it would just work” He blames this problem on everything, from routers, to web pages, phones; TV shows everything that can be thought of.

                Then I have friends in the music community who used to use windows pc’s for music production, after switching to apple, they can’t wait to tell m e about how great it is , even compiling copious amounts of Google research about why the OSX operating system is so stable, all the above. “IT JUST WORKS WILL”

                Usually this is a case of two things; first off, a person who doesn’t know how to operate a computer in the first place is going to be more likely to love an apple computer. There is a reason that the apple OS looks so friendly, like a bunch of brightly colored buttons that wiggle around when you click them. It is because using an apple computer requires the amount of skill to operate an etch a sketch. There is a reason that the app store, the iTunes store, etc… all exists, so that the gears of an operating system are hidden from you permanently. God forbid you would ever have to go into the registry and fix something yourself. NO VIRUSES WILL! I get this one a lot. “Really? No viruses, then I wonder, you were getting viruses on your computer? Probably, BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE THE INTERENT. If you go around clicking very link, going to untrusted sites, agreeing and replying to the Nigerian prince who claims to have 1.5 million dollars in bearer bonds for you, then you deserve the viruses you get. That’s just my opinion. The other reason people love apple so much, is just because of what it looks like. I will admit the aesthetics of a new apple device are pretty nice. But lets say you need to do something normal, exchange a battery, put in third party hardware, put in a new video card, put in a new sound card, delete all the non sense that apple preloads into all their computers, well in that case, you have to take your apple to a “Genius” of course. First off, walking into the apple store is almost like walking into a hipster party that you weren’t invited to, but were dragged to by some of your less good friends. I think if you cut open and bleed anyone in an Apple store, star bucks coffee comes out.  It’s a f*cking madhouse, a million people drooling and putting their filthy fingers on everything in the store. Giant flat screen devices on all ends blaring and subduing everyone with more apple advertisements, keynote speeches from apple execs, and the like. You are already in the apple store, isn’t this a good place for the apple commercials to cease? Also, people in blue shirts who work there, they don’t really work there. That’s why if you walk in, and need some help, no one will help you. That’s because everyone who is an employee is actually is playing with their iphone, or blathering to someone else about the ipad,. The genius is the only one who can fix your computer unfortunately. But when he emerges form his wizard of oz layer, he doesn’t exactly look like a genius, he looks like the kid who sits next to me in social policy class.

Thank god I don’t have to suffer these idiots, I can fix my own computer and so can you.

                Finally, the one thing I hate to hear is about how some factor of computer life would work better on apple. These idiots say it about everything.  My internet would work better on an apple, my phone would work better if it was an apple, my coffee would taste better if it were an apple, my relationship wouldn’t suffer so much if it was an apple, my life wouldn’t be so meaningless if it were an apple …. Oops yes it would, because apple is what takes away the meaning from things in the first place by replacing it with flashy pieces of shit. Think apple makes life better? Watch a keynote address from Steve Jobs and tell me if it is not the most self stroking self indulgent masturbatory experience you have ever seen one person engage in. He loves himself. You can tell.